I'd probably be happier if I was just dead
I didn't feel happy at all
And so I think what happened was I spiraled really bad
Cause I was like, I'm here, and if this is it
There's gotta be more for me
Cause if this is it, like, it's not gonna work

Hey Delaine how are you, it's your friend the main
You don't know me yet but just know these words have pain
I'm you in a couple years, so please don't fear
You have nothing to worry about, I'm just here
Here to talk to you about these next fеw years
There's a lot of big things, so usе your ears to hear
Hear what I have to say about everything in your life
I'm here to help you take the bigger bite
So here we go
When you were just a baby
Your mama put you up in a foster home
She couldn't care for you all on her own
So she need help
And to this day, you probably still feel alone
Going through hell all on your own
This ring a bell? of course not you're too young
Well lets fast forward through time, all the way to 2009
When your dad had his first stroke
And to this day you still think strokes are used as horrible jokes
He was getting sicker
The pain was getting thicker
The blood was getting thicker
Your heart grew weaker
But one day you started to find your way
Through music
And you learned how to use it
To your advantage, and when you're feeling down
You gave your drums a pound
But you could barely play
But that's not the point, so let's play a game
I'll be you and you be me, but I'ma talk so take a knee
"Hey Dad can we go play?" "Sorry son, not today"
So I tried the next day "hey Dad" "hey Son"
And that happened all the way till
Two, zero, one, one
When he had his last stroke
He had passed away, all on that gloomy Sunday
Times were rough, you're heart was broke
And from now on you're always going to hate the word stroke

So a couple years go by and things get worse
But you know all about that from that "Dear Dad" verse
Where your granny died, but y'all weren't that close
You don't like old people
"And I still don't their gross"
You and your mom also weren't that tight
And that's why you had to take that flight
All the way to Wisconsin
Where you met some guys who had struggled within
You all grew close within those two months
While you were away trying to fix yourself
"Well it worked, I'm here now aren't I?"
Story ain't over yet kid, there's more to defy
Like after that you had lost a lot of weight
Almost 40 pounds only cause you barely ever ate
Being so thin you felt like you could fit in
Not in a literal sense cause you could
But look at you you had a better build
You felt way better and you lowered your depression
But just wait, please, we have one more session
Twenty-seventeen through twenty-nineteen
Were the days when you were a badass teen
You met some cute girls even - on a couple
Don't worry you're in a cute couple
But that's not the point, I'm here to tell you about your future
And you have made it
So let's continue, there's only one minute
In 2018 you did a lot of things, you met your first love
But it wasn't meant to be

Now, I cut the old version out of respect
So you won't know what to expect
Let's go even farther
About 10 years after you lost your father
You stopped going to school
You always tell people its cause it wasn't for you
But in reality, they didn't want you
You only cared about your music classes
And that threw you back on those pre-req classes
You were given a second chance
But you took it for grant
Which is something i regret
But you know can't go back
You lied to your friends at home
And you kept going up back for some girl
Which you know you shouldn't have
You know you shouldn't have
But you know how we are
Yeah, know how we are
You're almost twenty-one in March of twenty twenty-two
So I guess ill see you
When you're feeling less blue
When you're feeling less blue
You're almost twenty-one in March of twenty twenty-two
So I guess ill see you
When you're feeling less blue
When you're feeling less blue

So that you as a function you, you are a function of all that
And therefore if this is so it just doesn't fit the
These facts do not fit the way we feel
Because we feel it the other way around
I am a little lonely thing exploring all this universe
And trying to get make something out of it, get something out of it, do something with it
And I know I'm going to fail because I know I'm going to die one day
So we're all fundamentally depressed
And think up all these fantasies about what's going to happen to us when we're dead
And all that kind of thing

What's going to happen to you when you're dead, what do you mean?
If you are basically the universe that question is irrelevant
You never were born and you never will die because what there is is you
And that should be absolutely obvious but it is not obvious at all
That should be the simplest thing in the world
That you, the I, is what has always been going on
And always will go on forever and ever
But we have been bamboozled by religionists, by politicians, by fathers and mothers
By all sorts of people to tell us you're not it and we believed it
If I say you can't do a damn thing can you understand this negative statement in a positive way
What I'm really saying is that you don't need to
Because if you see yourselves in the correct way
You are all as much extraordinary phenomena of nature
As say trees, clouds, the patterns in running water, the shape of fire
The arrangement of the stars, the form of a galaxy, you are all just like that

There's nothing wrong with you at all
You do think there's something wrong with you see and there's no question you do
We all object to ourselves in various ways and I'm going to add
There's nothing wrong with that either because that's part of the flow
That's part of what is going on that's part of what we do
What I'm actually going to do is I'm going to deliver you from a sense of guilt
Because I'm going to teach you that you needn't feel guilty because you feel guilty
Of course you feel guilty
It's like someone put a match on you and you feel hot
So they taught you as a child to feel guilty and you feel guilty
They say well but if someone comes along and says well you shouldn't
That's not the point
I'm going to say not that you shouldn't but did you do it don't worry about it
And if you want to say further but I can't help worrying about it
I'm going to say to you okay worry about
You don't know what you're supposed to do
What can you do, well if you don't know what you're supposed to do
You watch you simply watch what's going on
Like say somebody plays music you listen and you just follow those sounds
And eventually you understand the point of the music
The point cannot be explained in words because music is not words
But after a while in listening to any music you will understand the point of
And that point will be the music itself
So in exactly the same way
You can listen to all experiences because all experiences whatsoever are vibrations coming at you
You are these vibrations as a matter of fact
If you really feel out what is happening
What you are aware of as you and as everything else is all the same
It's a vibrations of all kinds and they're on different bands of a spectrum
Site vibrations, emotion vibrations, touch vibrations, sound vibrations
All these things adding together are woven
All the different senses are woven and you get a pattern in the weaving
And that pattern is the picture of what you now feel
Now instead of saying what should I do about it
Because who knows what to do about it
To know what to do about this you would have to know everything
And if you don't then the only thing that at least to begin with to begin with you can do is watch
Watch what's going on watch not only what's going on on the outside
But also what's going on on the inside
Treat your own thoughts, your own reactions, your own emotions about what's going on outside
As if those inside reactions were also outside things