If you wanna make money then you've gotta think fast
Phone claims direct cos there's a nail in yer arse
Its very simple this is one step of two
First hurt yourself, then claim you wanna sue
Venereal gash, or is it just whiplash?
Call it what you want, just get the fukkin cash
Cash or cheque, trip or fall
You gets over a grand if you rip off yer balls
Can I get a witness? You got a cut or a bruise
Now yer talking business
Oh son put yer face in the fire
If you loose both eyes then the price goes higher
I went to the doctors cos I felt funny, now claims direct, they're giving me money
Pick up the phone, the number is free, remember kids
No win no fee!

Chorus-
Ring now, no win no fee
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV
Ring now, its money for free
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV

The bad boy limp is tellin', you know what type of shit I'm selling
I walks funny and I gets respect, my limps paid for by claims direct
Cut off two toes and got gangrene, now I walks with a gangster lean
I did it in work, no win no fee, I got four grand and shpmobilityyyy
Shopmobility shop shopmoblilty
Shopmobility shop shopmoblilty
Shopmobility shop shopmoblilty
Shopmobility shop shopmoblilty

Chorus-
Ring now, no win no fee
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV
Ring now, its money for free
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV

I wears a stone in the sole of my shoe
It makes me walk proper when im hanging with my crew
What do I mean? I'll try to explain
Being fukkin razz means you gotta take some pain
Like I said, I wears a stone, other techniques have been used that are known
I used a marble, it made me walk funny
Like Jeremy Beadle's hand giving me money
For a prize that I won on a show, for having a bad boy limp and smoking blow
Put on your trainer, feel the Hi-Tec glow, insert a two inch nail into the foot below

The bad boy, the bad boy limp
A little bit of gravel makes you walk like a pimp
The bad boy, the bad boy limp
The harder you look the more you walks like a gimp
Chorus-
Ring now, no win no fee
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV
Ring now, its money for free
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV

Yer bird checks me when yer havin a drink, I got ten fags and a bad boy limp
If you wanna start, clart, give it a go
S'like Heather Mills giving McCartney a (blank)
Not working now cos im on the sick, my bad boy limp sorts the benefits
I lurch round town with my mates at an angle, Leisurewear, bling-bling, fukkin jingle jangle
You knows im safe, so check my stance, walking around Argos like I shat my pants

Ah, tick-tock we don't stop, I limp like a leper when I go down the shop
A Ginsters pasty, a can of panda pop, then its off down the council cos my benefits stopped
Injury- it's the name of the game, fuckin up yer body for the Goldie Lookin Chain
One toe is six weeks, one leg is a year, do a Vincent Van Gogh, get more money for beer

Chorus-
Ring now, no win no fee
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV
Ring now, its money for free
Its gotta be true cos its on the TV

Forget the bones that your breaking, think about the cash your making
Forget the bones that your breaking, think about the cash your making
Forget the bones that your breaking, think about the cash your making
Forget about the bones your breaking, think about the cash your making