Come have a drink up at Ridgeway, next to Classic Cuts
This is Newport, we don't even have a Pizza Hut
Newport, down the M4 motorway
Famous for cheese and chips, not Craig Bellamy

I catch you in our kitchen, and hey Presto
I'm going to melt you if you've never been to Chepstow
We had six nightclubs, but most closed down
Visit Newport, it's still a party town

Get on the dance floor, mind the smoking ban
You won't see Charlotte Church or Gavin Henson
Big up to Paul Flynn not the Welsh Assembly
That's in Cardiff so it don't mean shit to me

Shirley Bassey, she's just like the Queen
Not from Newport, and probably never been
See me at Bailey's on Tuesday for the quiz
But you won't go, because the truth is...

[Chorus]
You're not from Newport
You've probably never been there either
I bet you a fiver
You're not from Newport
You've probably never heard of Pillgwenlly
Or been to Liswerry
You're not from Newport
Newport where your missus is a nutter
She's got curly teeth, but she walks with a stutter
If you wanna know about our little town
Pay money at the Severn Bridge and come on down

Ride around all day, on a Newport bus
On the X15, and read the Argus
We got a sports village, and a velodrome
Six drive-through McDonalds for your journey home

From Newport Stadium to Rodney Parade
The Premier Inn, where you probably stayed
Don't have a Debenhams, but we got TKMaxx
Once you've had 'Port, you never goes backs

So if you want cheese on your chips, medieval ships
See mattresses in skips, then comes take a trips
Visit John Frost Square, you knows I'll see you there
But people might stare, because..

[Chorus]
You're not from Newport
You've probably never been there either
I bet you a fiver
You're not from Newport
You've probably never heard of Cryndau
Ringland or Risca
You're not from Newport
I can't believe you ripped off my style
But to be honest, it made me smile
Newport - so good they named it twice
We've got a visitor's centre if you need advice because..

[Chorus]
You're not from Newport
You've probably never been there either
I bet you a fiver
You're not from Newport
You've probably never heard of Pillgwenlly
Or been to Liswerry

[Chorus]
You're not from Newport
You've probably never been there either
I bet you a fiver
You're not from Newport
You've probably never heard of Cryndau
Ringland or Risca
You're not from Newport

[Spoken]
Yeah, Newport. It's wicked
Home of the Ryder cup, 2010
And we got a Wetherspoon's
It's wicked. Come and visit soon. Loves you
You knows it makes sense