My eyes snap open
It's two o'clock
I rip off my shirt
My pants, my socks
Something's wrong
But I don't know what

But then I start to realize
There's sweat trickling
Down my thighs
And a fire between
The mattress and my butt

It's too hot
It's too hot in here
I'm gonna fall out of my chair
If I have another ice cold beer
I forgot how much it sucks
To sweat in bed
I don't wanna drink your iced tea
I think I'll take a bath in it
Instead
It's too hot!

Laying on the floor
With my clothes off
Silk boxer shorts
And a wash cloth
Are the only things I'll let
Touch my skin today
Spraying myself with an
Upside down air can
Making out with the window fan
Hoping the mailman
Doesn't look in today

It's too hot
It's too hot in this town
My will to live is melting
And that's what's got me down
It's too hot
And my state is on fire
I'm an endothermic organism
And that's why I perspire
When it's too hot

The United Nations says
Eleven thousand
People die of hotness each year
But the burning sun
It wants eleven thousand and one
But it's not gonna get me ya hear!

Sweatin' in my basement
All alone
Watching Hotness Prevails
By thewinekone
Sympathizing with
My favorite YouTube star
How could anyone be
So deranged to not
Believe in climate change
When it's 102 in Montana
In the dark?

It's too hot
And I'm doing a funny dance
'Cause I went and got some ice cubes
And I put them in my pants!

It's too hot
It's too hot in here!
I'm probably gonna pass out
But please pass me my beer
It's too hot!