[TAXI]
I once loved a girl out in Flatbush
She was a picture of beauty and grace
But she thought kittens came from a cat bush
And she never had heard of first base
So I travel no longer to Flatbush
Though the girl is both wealthy and pure
For whenever I tried my desires to confide
Her mind was upon her coiffeur

[TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY]
Oh the trouble, the trouble with women
They soften your heart 'til it melts
And then at the critical moment
They arе thinking about something else

[STANLEY]
Onе weekend I rented a Packard
For a maiden of whom I was fond
Her lips and her toenails were lacquered
And I think she was technically blond
Her defenses had started to crumble
I was bursting with masculine pride
When up spoke a voice from the rumble
Her mother had stolen a ride
[TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY]
Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women
I fear that their life is a lie
While they stall you with maidenly murmurs
They are romping with some other guy

[RODNEY]
When I drove in my glamorous Chevy
I would park in a suitable spot
Then I'd turn to the girls like a heavy
And inquire if they would or would not
I always implied that they had to
But, oh jimminies, was I perplexed
On the night that one said she'd be glad to
I didn't know what to do next

[TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY]
Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women
I repeat it again and again
From Kalamazoo to Kamchatka
The trouble with women is men
The trouble is men