[PAGE, spoken]
Ah! The charges against Liza Elliott. 

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Thank you. Order in the courtroom!

[LIZA, spoken]
What is all this? Charges against me? What for? What is all this?

[RINGMASTER]
Whereas—

[ENSEMBLE]
Whereas—

[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
About the Easter cover or the circus cover
Secundus—

[ENSEMBLE]
Secundus—

[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
Whether she is marrying Kendall Nesbitt or not
Moreover!
[ENSEMBLE]
Moreover!

[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
As to the kind of woman she wants to be
The executive or the enchantress
And in as much as—

[ENSEMBLE]
In as much as—

[RINGMASTER]
In a world where tumult and turmoil reign
These indecisions of Liza Elliott only add to the confusions
Of an already, as indicated, confused world
Therefore be it resolved—

[ENSEMBLE]
Be it resolved—

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Liza Elliott be brought to trial
And be made to make up her mind

Introducing that death-defying trapeze artist and prosecuting attorney, Charley Johnson!
[CHARLEY]
I'm the attorney for prosecution
Can't be bought or sold
For the jam she's in there's no solution
Once the story is told!

[ENSEMBLE]
He's the attorney for prosecution
Flying in to space
Will there be an electrocution
If he wins the case?

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Introducing that thrilling bareback rider and attorney for the defense, Randy Curtis!

[RANDY]
I'm the lawyer for the defendant
Can't be sold or bought
Miss Elliott's star is in the ascendant
This will come to naught!

[ENSEMBLE]
He's the lawyer for the defendant
Bareback rider, too!
Miss Elliott's star is in the ascendant
'Cording to his view
[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Introducing those merry madcaps and prankish pantaloonatics, the jury!

[JURY]
Our object all sublime
We shall achieve in time
To let the melody fit the rhyme
The melody fit the rhyme

[RINGMASTER]
This is all immaterial and irrelevant
What do you think this is —Gilbert and Sellivant?

[JURY]
Gilbert and Sellivant!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
If this is just a sample
Then evidence is ample
You get your money's worth
At The Greatest Show on Earth

[CHARLEY, spoken]
Your Honor, Mr. Ringmaster, I would like to introduce that peerless witness and lion tamer, Kendall Nesbitt. 

Mr. Nesbitt, you are divorcing your wife so you can be free to marry the defendant, isn't that so?

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes, sir!

[CHARLEY, spoken]
You were led to believe the defendant would marry you when, as, and if. 

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes, sir!

[CHARLEY, spoken]
Now she refuses to make up her mind. 

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes, sir!

[CHARLEY, spoken]
You gave her the best years of your life and now she refuses to be your wife!

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes, sir!

[RINGMASTER]
What a show! What a situation!
Can you conceive it?
If you saw it on the stage
You wouldn't believe it!

He gave her the best years of his life
She was, shall we call it, his mistress?
'Twas only for her he's divorcing his wife
And now the man's in distress
The mister who once was the master of two
Would make of his mistress his Mrs. 
But he's missed out on Mrs. for the mistress is through
What a mess of a mish mash this is

[JURY]
But he's missed out on Mrs. for the mistress is through
What a mess of a mish mash this is

[RANDY, spoken]
Your Honor, Mr. RIngmaster. 

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Yes, Mr. Bareback Rider. 

[RANDY, spoken]
I would like to answer the charge just made by the prosecuting attorney. 

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Go ahead, I can hardly wait. 

[RANDY]
She gave him her heart, but not her word
This case, therefore, is so much dead wood
Her promise to wed he never heard
For she never promised she wed would
It's just that a change of heart occurred
And although it may have dismayed him
When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word
How on earth can that maid have betrayed him?

[LIZA, JURY]
Tra-la—I never gave my word
She gave him her heart, but not her word
Tra-la—This action is absurd
This case, therefore, is so much dead wood
Tra-la—I loved him from the start
Her promise to wed he never heard
And then I had a change of heart
For she never promised she wed would
Tra-la—The rights of womankind
It's just that a change of heart occurred
Tra-la—Permit a change of mind
And although it may have dismayed him

[LIZA]
When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word
How on earth can that maid have betrayed him?

[JURY]
When a maid gives her heart but does not give her word
How on earth can that maid have betrayed him?

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Charming, charming! Who wrote that music?

[JURY, spoken]
Tchaikovsky!

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Tchaikovsky. I love Russian composers!