[CELLINI]
In Naples one night a wandering gypsy
After three or four bottles too many grew tipsy
On the Secret of Secrets she let down the bars
And told me what really is written in the stars

[DUKE]
I don't know where this is going to go
But a tipsy gypsy told him so

[ENSEMBLE]
A gypsy let down the bars
And told him what's really in the stars

[CELLINI]
You will offer your apology
When you hear the new astrology

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
The new astrology!

[CELLINI]
No matter under what sign you're born
If you're a Virgo, or Capricorn
Whatever you do from morn to morn
You have to do what you do do!
No matter under what sign you're starred
It doesn't help you to be on guard
You're always hoist on your own petard
And have to do what you do do!

[ENSEMBLE]
What does he mean
With this routine
That comes like bolts from the blue do?

[CELLINI]
You have to do what you do do!
'Tisn't up to you at all
We all live under a hoodoo
'Til you hear the trumpet call
In this life, what else can you do?
In this life we're pawns in a game
If you have to do what you do do
Whatever you do, you're not to blame

[ENSEMBLE, CELLINI]
What does he mean In this life, what else can you do?
With this routine? In this life we're pawns in a game

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
If you have to do what you do do
Whatever you do, you're not to blame
[CELLINI]
Was Plato to blame for being Platonic?
Or Babylon for being Babylonic?
Was Caesar to blame for being Caesarean?
Or the people for being proletarian?
Was Nero to blame for being destructive?
Or the Queen of Sheba for being seductive?
Was Helen of Troy to blame for the Trojan Horse?
No, no! My friends, 'twas a greater force!
And so by the shades of Pluto
Am I to blame for acting like Benvenuto?

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
You have to do what you do do!
'Tisn't up to you at all
We all live under a do do
'Til you hear the trumpet call

[CELLINI]
In this life, what else can you do?
In this life we are pawns in a game!

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
If you have to do what you do do

[ENSEMBLE]
Whatever you do
Whatever you do
Whatever you do
Whatever you do
[CELLINI]
Whatever you do

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
You're not to blame!

[DUKE, spoken]
I like it! Nobody is to blame for anything. 

[NARRATOR, spoken]
The Duke is pleased with Ben's surmise
And tries the theory on for size

[DUKE]
I am not to blame
Thou art not to blame
He is not to blame
We are not to blame
You are not to blame
They are not to blame

[DUKE]
Nobody

[ENSEMBLE]
Nobody

[DUKE]
Nobody

[ENSEMBLE]
Nobody

[DUKE & ENSEMBLE]
Nobody is to blame

[DUKE]
You have to do what you do do
Isn't up to you at all

[ENSEMBLE]
We all live under a hoodoo
'Til you hear the trumpet call

[CELLINI]
Whatever your station, whatever your name
Whatever you do do, you're never to blame

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
You have to do what you do do
Is the fact that I/we proclaim

[DUKE]
You may think that you do
Whatever you do do
But there is a hoodoo
That's running the game

[CELLINI]
No matter whatever
You do do endeavor
I'm here to assever
That—

[CELLINI & ENSEMBLE]
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody is to blame!

[NARRATOR, spoken]
The trial's gone well, the courtroom cheers
But then a nasty man appears
A man who wants Cellini's head
And also wants the dud Duke dead
Ottaviano is his name
And bloody treason is his game
He's really nasty, thoroughly vile
And tries to rig Cellini's trial

[OTTAVIANO, spoken]
Will you take the word of this cutthroat against mine?

[DUKE, spoken]
Don't think that of me. I'm just listening to please my wife. 

[DUCHESS, spoken]
Have you forgotten what happened three years ago?

[DUKE, spoken]
Of course I have! You know very well I can't remember five minutes back. 

[OTTAVIANO, spoken]
My lord, you must hang Cellini, or you must hang me. In the name of our family, which will you hang?

[DUKE, spoken]
Well, Cellini naturally, but still...

[OTTAVIANO, spoken]
Let him produce a witness to his story. 

[DUKE, spoken]
Can you?

[CELLINI, spoken]
No, we were alone, my lord. 

[DUKE, spoken]
Too bad. You should always have a witness. They often come in handy.