[Verse 1]
My life just got sucked out of me
No inspiration, no creativity
Wouldn’t it be better in my fantasy
But I can’t stand all the thoughts that I bleed
I think I’ve lost my passion in music
Now I just do it like I have to do it
So anxious about my future career
Things keep getting worse when I steer
Fear is being injected into my system
Worries and duties are making me not listen
Whenever I let it all out I feel inclined
To make a random mixtape to relieve my mind
But instead it just causes more trouble
My style and persona keeps getting awful
I can never keep myself in check
This has been going on for too long, I’m such a mess
I’m sucking my mind dry of ideas
Head so dead from thinking and traumas
I’m no good at recording, I’m no good at producing
I’m no good at writing, so what am I good at?
Brain so creative and innovative
But I don’t have any idea of presenting it
Spit it out, I’m imaginative
I say I love the Lord but I don’t live it
Different words pop out and appeal to me
I don’t do this for the power, fame, or money
Is my genius vision a gift or a horrible curse
It’s so unbearable that I feel like getting merked
How may I ever survive in this world
In the darkness and tough times I just curl
I must overcome my fears of being alone
Yeah I’m independent, I’m a lone wolf
Uh, I’ve forgotten all the important things
Now I’m just rambling on some random things
Desultory stage, I’m just recycling lyrics
Comatose phase, I’m just in my movement
My body won’t listen I’m not moving on
I’m just so stuck up on these types of songs
No hooks or bridges it’s just me alone
Only one verse, no features I’m solo
So much for planning to join a label right?
I keep wanting and pushing, internal fight
I’ve been stressing way too hard on my music
With school I got no days off, I’m gonna lose it
My grades are suffering, I am suffering
Will there be any hope that the future will bring?
My will of fire is drowning, I can’t keep control
Young and active yet I feel so stiff and old
Now I question my purpose and my life
Going blind from the mist I’m losing sight
Pushing myself over the limit, over the edge
Zombie on a journey heading to a ledge
What happened to me and my patience
What happened to my powerful motivation
I know I’ve said my actions are unexplainable
But from here on out I’m tryna make it say able
Energy all depleted I need to regain my sleep
Whole body aching and run down, I’m so weak
Broken promises all stored in my record now
I just talk the talk I’m gonna expect some doubt
Skeptics, cynics, and unbelievers mock me
The rain and wind are so strong against me
Pinnacle of stress and failure, climax
All of my haters hope to see me fall, Cinemax
I go hard cause I’m afraid of seeing myself lose
I act so hard like I got something to prove
My carelessness is off the charts
How can I ever call any of my works art?
KJH dedication you will always be remembered
Unlike me I’d be fading under the weather
There ain’t no use for being depressed
I always feel like I owe a heavy debt
All these stuff are such a nuisance
But I shouldn’t be complaining about my grievance
Yo Kyle, how did you get through each day?
All these are little things compared to your pain
Man even with your problems you put on a smile
For me I always smiled but now it hurts to smile
Filled with trials and tribulations, my journey is long
Where do you get your willpower to carry on?
Yeah I always take life for granted and whine
So why don’t we switch places, you live and I die?
I’ve lost my force, I’ve lost my drive
My strength is diminishing therefore I cannot thrive
But Kyle that ain’t something that you would say
Yeah you would carry on every single day
Man homie, I miss you so much
Just seeing old photos of you ain’t ever enough
I wonder what it would be like if you were still here
That one memory of seeing your face is so clear
Those old times are the ones worth remembering
Dreaming of you, I can’t stop reminiscing
I shouldn’t complain when life gets tough
Because I’m sure compared to yours, you had it more rough
Going off of this I will continue to power through
And I believe that one day I will make it through