[BARRY]
We’re gonna prove that in this day and age
Being gay isn’t a crime
This is our moment to change the world
One lesbian

[TRENT]
Lesbian!

[DEE DEE]
Lesbian!

[ANGIE]
Lesbian!

[ALL]
At a time!

[BARRY]
We’re gonna help that little lesbian
Whether she likes it or not
When you’re a legendary thespian

[DEE DEE]
First you help the distressed
[TRENT]
Then you help the distraught

[BARRY]
We’re going down to where the necks are red
And lack of dentistry thrives
Why sing and dance
When you can take a stance?

[ALL]
And know you’re truly changing lives
We’re gonna march until that town looks like
The end of Act One of Les Miz
You don’t gotta have a Ph.D. in psych
To know that people kowtow to the folks in the biz

[BARRY]
We’re gonna teach ‘em to be more PC
The minute our group arrives

[ALL]
That's right!

[BARRY]
Those fist-pumping
[DEE DEE]
Bible-thumping

[TRENT]
Spam-eating

[ANGIE]
Cousin-loving

[BARRY]
Cow-tipping

[DEE DEE]
Shoulder-slumping

[TRENT]
Finger-wagging

[ANGIE]
Hoosier-humping

[ALL]
Losers and their homely wives
They’ll learn compassion

[DEE DEE]
And better fashion
[ALL]
Once we at last start
Changing lives

[BARRY, spoken]
Now let's go start a fight!