Wil Wagner
It Kills Me to Have to Be Alive
[Verse 1]
Something about the summer
I didn't cope with well
And every time I walked in this room
In the same spot, tripped and fell
And I check my spit for blood
And I do not call enough
I spill my guts for money
But you don't find my jokes that funny
[Verse 2]
There's something in the tone of my voice
That makes you question everything I say
And I will never learn to just shut my mouth
And bury things our parents' way
And you said that I should quit what I fear
And I know I just wanted it to be my idea
And you said that I do not exist
And I know at least now we agree on it
[Verse 3]
And I'll keep telling myself
That I'm not just here for everyone else
Make plans for birthdays
That I don't care if I celebrate
And I'm sorry that I can't be
What everybody wants from me
I do not feel that I am loved
But I do not reach out enough
But I'm reaching up
[Chorus]
And I'll let this all fall down around me
Yeah, I'll let this all fall down around me
Yeah, I'll let this all fall down around me
[Outro]
And I'll fail but at least I'll try
It's the most I can hope for most of the time
It kills me to have to be alive
It is killing me to have to be alive