[Spoken: Jaret Reddick]
This song is called Almost, it goes like this

[Verse 1]
I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out and moved to LA
Where I was almost famous for- let me hear you sing!

[Chorus: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd]
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

[Verse 2]
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
'Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
'Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on 'causе you ran away
And I wish I would've had the nervе to ask you to stay

[Chorus]
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
[Bridge]
Here I go thinking 'bout all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift 'cause all the baggage weighs a ton (Baggage weighs a ton)
I know we had our problems, I can't remember one

[Spoken: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd]
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the big emo breakdown
Everybody feel sorry for emo kids, go
Awww
Now sing with me, sing to them, the emo kids

[Verse 3: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd]
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in, I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away

[Chorus]
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you

[Outro: Jaret Reddick & Erik Chandler]
And I almost had you
(Almost had you)
Almost had you
(Almost had)
Almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Wish you would've loved me too
[Spoken: Jaret Reddick, Chris Burney, Erik Chandler]
Wasn't that freaking awesome?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Get Happy Tour, we are so happy that you're here, we are so happy to be here!
Big round of applause for the Army Of Freshmen for rocking out earlier on!
Let's hear it for our new friends, Zebrahead, everybody!
And of course, not only do they rock, but they will leave the stage smelling like puke, let's hear it for the Bloodhound Gang! And their vomiting adventures!
How many people have our "Let's Do It For Johnny" album, anybody? One, two... sixteen people in the whole audience- what are you doing over there?
I'm just staring over there
Why? What's over there?
A blue light
I swear to god, like-
I think somebody just threw up some candy or something here, what is that? Is that, hey, Munchies!
What are Munchies?
Well, I- they're a little- I think somebody may have pooped in here, or they're a little melty
Is it poop? No, you threw it up here? Are they really Munchies?
Okay, if it's munchy poop, we're gonna send the guitar solo guy over there to kick your butt
Here Chris, we're gonna save these for you for later, or do you wanna try some now? I would make sure that-
I'm gonna see if it's poop or not
Let's make sure it's not poop before we put it into the mouth
A little making sure music over here
It smells like chocolate, but I've had a poop that smelled like chocolate once
I was there
It looks like poop
I'm gonna try it
Try it! Hooray!
It's not poop!
It's not poop!
It's not poop! It's not poop!
(It's not poop! It's not poop!)