[Verse 1]
Eight o'clock, Monday night, and I'm waitin'
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me
Her name is Nona, she's a rocker with a nose ring
She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means

[Pre-Chorus]
And when she walks
All the wind blows and the angels sing
But she doesn't notice me, c'mon sing!

[Chorus: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd]
Watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
It's like a bad movie
She's lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin', "Someonе shoot me!"
As I fail miserably
Tryna get thе girl all the bad guys want
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want

[Verse 2]
She likes the Godsmack and I like Agent Orange
Her CD changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She says she'd like to score some reefer and a forty
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have
[Pre-Chorus]
And when she walks
All the wind blows and the angels sing
She'll never notice me

[Chorus: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd, Erik Chandler]
Watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes
She likes 'em with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Drivin' in a Trans-Am
Does a mullet make a man?
It's like a bad movie
She's lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin', "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably
Tryna get the girl all the bad guys want
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want

[Bridge]
There she goes again
With fishnets on, and dreadlocks in her hair
She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!
Sing with me
[Chorus: Jaret Reddick, Concert Crowd]
Now I'm watchin' wrestling
Tryna be a tough guy
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in my eyes
And I can't grow a mustache
I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped (Moped, moped)

[Spoken: Jaret Reddick, Chris Burney, Erik Chandler]
The guy with the air guitar right there, he was rockin' out right there
That was his solo!
Good job! Let's hear it for that guy!
Also Jaret-
Somebody also stole his shirt
No, and right when we went into that thing, he messed up, you'll hear it when we hear it back-
When we hear it back, oh you just messed up on the DVD dude
Way to go asshole!
We all mess up from time to time!
Well no, boo the shit out of him!
Erik, c'mon, this is no time to get soft
Sorry... boo the shit out of him!
Like prom night!

[Chorus]
It's like a bad movie
She's lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin', "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably
Tryna get the girl all the bad guys want
[Outro: Jaret Reddick & Erik Chandler]
She's the girl all the bad guys want
She's the girl all the bad guys want
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want
She's the girl all the bad guys want
(There she goes again)
She's the girl all the bad guys want
She's the girl all the bad guys-
Cha-cha-cha!

[Spoken: Chris Burney, Jaret Reddick, Erik Chandler]
Oh god, you're all beautiful, thank you
If you love gravy, I would sop you up with a biscuit, mmm-mmm-mmm
I actually have a problem with that, a biscuit is a cookie here, they don't know what a biscuit is, has anybody ever been to America and had a biscuit?
Cause that would make- so that only made sense to them, a biscuit is for sopping
What? What do you call it here? A dough something? You guys love Limp Bizkit?
I mean, all this talking about biscuits is making me a little hungry
I'll have one, soon
Erik, what are you doin- oh, that sheep has a butthole drawn on it! What does it say?
Hold on, it says "In February, I gave you a sheep, where the fuck is it?"
Hah!
Hold on, wait
If you want, just give us another one!
Wait hold on, it says "In February, I gave you a sheep, where the fuck is it? Love, Jay and Craig and Liam and Kafo and Sting" but it says- oh, that's all one name?
Wow!
Jeez Louise, I like how you- I like how you stopped putting "and" after you got to the other side and just started putting "plus"
Did you see that the sheep has a weiner? Oh my god
Okay, the sheep that you sent us before, we sent that to Wales and it is getting fucked right now as we speak
I actually- they're making love to that sheep
They are, true
They were just trying to help it over the fence
Thank you guys so very, very much for being the greatest rock and roll audience in the world!