[Verse 1]
I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out and moved to LA
Where I was almost famous for- everybody sing it!

[Chorus]
Almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

[Verse 2]
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
'Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
'Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on 'cause you ran away
And I wish I would've had the nervе to ask you to stay

[Chorus]
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't evеn know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
[Bridge]
And here I go thinking 'bout all the things I could've done
Gonna need a forklift 'cause all the baggage weighs a ton (Baggage weighs a ton)
I know we had our problems, I can't remember one

[Spoken: Jaret Reddick]
Also, can I just say this, but that Patent Pending Mario shirt is ridiculous
That is insane, that's insane
What are you talking about?
Stand up? Oh, you wanna see the Mario shirt?
There's a guy right there, he's wearing it right there
A lot of people are thinking to themselves "why would he be advertising for the other band's shirts? Like doesn't he wanna sell his own?" and here's the answer to that: I get a cut of all that shit

[Verse 3]
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in, I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away

[Chorus]
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
[Outro]
And I almost had you
Almost had
Almost had you
Almost had
Almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Wish you would've loved me too

[Spoken: Erik Chandler]
Thank you Mr. Bernstein!