[Verse 1]
I come from a land of kebabs and curries
Second helpings, no worries
Pile the carbs upon the plate
Then one day, it's too late

[Verse 2]
No breakfast, no luncheon
Just carpets I'm munching
A thimble of self-esteem
Glazed nothing for afters
An absence of laughter
The saddest that I've ever been

[Verse 3]
You just can't be portly
Not this side of 40
Showbiz, a single chin game
Scum paparazzies
And weight police nasties
Have narrowed the hall of fame

[Chorus 1]
No one likes a fat pop star
Pop is a place for the thin
No one likes a fat pop star
We want to hear thin people sing
[Verse 4]
When I get faint
I chew through my restraints
It's the best meal that I've had all week
If I could eat my own words
I'd tear through the verbs
But nobody pays me to speak

[Chorus 2]
No one likes a fat pop star
Pop is a place for the thin
No one like a fat pop star
We're sorry, we can't let you in

[Bridge]
Now you've upset me, I feel like a snack
A packet of Minstrels, a pie and a nap
So what's wrong with that?

[Verse 5]
No breakfast, no luncheon
Just carpets I'm munching
A thimble of self-esteem
Glazed nothing for afters
An absence of laughter
The thinnest that I've ever been
[Outro, spoken]
Thank you