Both:
Old, old, you got old
Robbie (Spoken):
Spell it!
Jonathon (Spoken):
Y O L A N A N A Oh shut up (Robbie laughs)
Robbie:
Just gaze upon me, I'm a man in my prime
Jonathon (Spoken):
You old git!
Robbie Williams:
Made distinguished, smelling divine
Jonathon (Spoken):
Really?
Jonathon:
You'll need an iron in to get rid of those lines
Robbie:
Hey look who's talking pot kettle, kettle pot
Jonathon:
The bossa nova is out of your league
Robbie (Spoken):
The bossiv what?
Jonathon:
Two minutes standing, and you got fatigue
Robbie:
Get off your soapbox, your nose gonna bleed
Both:
'Cause you got old!
Jonathon (Spoken):
Come on Grandad, keep up
Robbie (spoken, old voice):
Oh, I don't think I can!
Robbie:
I think I'm cool enough to jive with the kids
Jonathon:
That shipped has sailed
Robbie:
I'm on the express and you're on the skids
Jonathon:
That train has derailed
Robbie:
I'm on the brink of something bigger than big
Jonathon:
Like one epic fail
Both:
Easy popsy, where's your zimmer, close your mouth, you're salivating
Jonathon:
You know there's ladies that think I'm a hunk (Robbie laughs)
Robbie:
Are they religious 'cause your hair's like a monk
Both:
Best keep your clothes on since everything shrunk
Cause you got old
Jonathon:
I meant to ask you did it come in the mail?
Robbie (Spoken):
What?
Jonathon:
Your telegram from the Queen
Robbie:
Are you wearing those teeth in for the Doc
Jonathon:
Well I'd tell you the truth
But you'd forget it
Robbie (Spoken):
Ohh...
Jonathon:
The rumour is you keep your teeth in a jar
Robbie:
You're going somewhere, but not going far
Both:
Reach for the oxygen and best take a car
Cause you got old
Robbie (Spoken):
Right then, let me give this a try
Jonathon (Spoken):
Go on then, off ya go
Robbie:
Y O U O L G G W A T I
Don't wanna see you now this sort of thing (Jonathon laughs)
(Instrumental Break)
Robbie:
I've seen you clinging to the days of your youth
Jonathon:
Now, you're going grey at the gills
Robbie (Spoken):
It's distinguished
Jonathon (Spoken):
Whatever
Robbie:
And people say you're just as old as you feel, well you're pretty cool
Jonathon (Spoken):
Hey, you think?
Robbie:
Hypothermic
Jonathon:
If you still got it, then I need a shrink
Robbie:
You solve the mystery of the one missing link
Both:
You brush your hair and find it all in the sink
Cause you...
Got...
Old...
We got old
We got old
We got old
Jonathon (Spoken):
Ah I don't feel very good
Robbie (Spoken):
Oh keep going you fool! (Jonathon laughs)