[Verse 1]
I'm coming out of the sandbox
You'll get covered in dog doo
I'm gonna get off the sea saw
Say goodbye to your mama
Oh yeah, let's get high on some Pop Rock
Pop Rock and Coke
I'll blow your sock off
Teach how to laugh at daddy's dirty jokes

[Pre-Chorus]
Don't hedge your bets, double down
If you want to get ahead in Tinsel Town
Turn that smile upside down
Happy people don't have sex

[Chorus 1]
Now Robbie, everybody swings both ways
From the butchest, the bandits
The fairest, the faggots
And singers with everything they need
Everybody swings both ways
Face it Robbie, you're a little bit gay
Shall we dance?

[Verse 2]
I'm getting hot on the pavement
Can you find me some grass?
I have a certain arrangement
Up the Khyber Pass
Oh yeah, let's get high with some fruit cake
Fruit cake and tea
And after I've done her
Well you can do me
Oh, boy
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't hedge your bets, double down
If you want to get ahead in Tinsel Town
Just follow me you enormous clown
Clever people don't have sex

[Chorus 2]
Now Rufus, everybody swings both ways
The bully, the bigot
The giant, the midget
And singers with everything they need
Everybody swings both ways
Face it Rufus, you're a tad gay
Oh, yeah?
Face it Robbie
Uh huh?
You're a little bit gay