Someone's hiding in the bushes with a telephoto lens
While their editor assures them the means justifies the ends
Because we only hunt celebrities it's just a bit of fun
But Scousers never buy the Sun

While the parents of the missing girl cling desparately to hope
A copper takes improper payments in a thick brown envelope
And no-one in the newsroom asks "Where's this headline from?"
Scousers never buy the Sun

Tabloids make their money betting bullshit baffles brains
They cynically hold up their hands if anyone complains
And they say "Look all we're doing is giving people what they want"
Well they're crying out for justice, people crying out for justice
And the man they call "The Digger" who casts a proprietory eye
Over what happens in the gutter and goes on in the Sky
And he claims he's fit and proper and the watchdog sings his song
Scousers never buy the Sun

International executives they hang their head in shame
And tell us with their hands on heart that the paper-boy's to blame
But you who love that kiss and tell, you must bear some guilt as well
Scousers never buy the Sun

Tabloids making millions betting bullshit baffles brains
They cynically hold up their hands if anyone complains
And they say "All we're doing is giving people what they want"
Well they're crying out for justice, people crying out for justice
In the corridors of power they all sit down to sup
With the devil and his minions, and they ask for his opinions
And the politicians they wring their hands and cry "What's to be done?"
And Scousers never buy the Sun

No-one comes out looking good when all is said and done
The Scousers never buy the Sun