I went down to the Ballroom
She was dancing with her new fool
She said 'Paul, this is Henry'
Well I never know what to say when I meet 'em
I was taken to a party
I was accused of being deliberately downhearted
She said 'Paul, why so gloomy?'
Well I never know what to say when I meet 'em
Your wine tastes fine
Your friends are talking to me
I'd like to hide
Guess I'm all tongue-tied
Henry's gonna meet the family
They're gonna have him over for roast lamb next Sunday
Well good luck and I'm glad it's you
'Cause I never know what to say when I meet 'em
I was going home on Fitzroy
She was walking with her new boy
She said 'Paul, this is Tommy'
Well I never know what to say when I meet 'em