[Skit 1]
Have you seen the baby?!
No! I think he got outside.
*Person B's face unzips to reveal the baby*
You fool...

[Intro]
Everybody do the flop!

[Skit 2]
*Person B continuously tries to insert an envelope into Person A like a mailbox*
No, no! Stop it! NOOO-!

[Skit 3]
I am depressed.
SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES
This does not help.

[Skit 4]
Hey, buddy, look over here!
*Person B looks at the sun*
Ha ha! Now you're blind!

[Skit 5]
What's goin' on guys?
Larry, this is an intervention. You need to stop breaking people's necks.
*Larry breaks Person C's neck*
What are ya talkin' about?
Larry!
What?
LARRY!!!
*Larry breaks Person B's neck*
[Skit 6]
Hey! Cool hat!
*Person A takes Person B's hat and put it on*
*The hat falls over Person A engulfing him*

[Skit 7]
No, Susie! Don't walk in the road!
*Susie makes it to the other side*
Look, mom! I made it!
*Susie gets crushed by a stegosaurus*
I am a stegosaurus!

[Skit 8]
*Person A is winding a Jack-In-The-Box*
*The camera pans out to see Person B and C, policemen, taking photos of a crime scene with 3 murders*

[Skit 9]
Happy birthday!
*Camera pans to a woman giving birth and screaming*
*Pop sound*
It's a boy!

[Skit 10]
Invisible Billy Adventure!
Hey, Billy! Catch the Frisbee!
*The Frisbee slices off Billy's head and his body falls to the ground*
B- Billy?
[Skit 11]
Sir? I'm afraid you have, brain cancer.
SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES
*Person B's head is turned into a pineapple*
Well, the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymore.
*Person B's pineapple head falls to the ground*

[Skit 12]
Save me SuperGuy!
No.
*Person A looses grip of the cliff*
You're a diiiii~

[Skit 13]
Hey, Apple?
Apple?
Apple?
Hey, Apple!
Well, we failed.
*The dad pulls out a shotgun, cocks it, and aims it at his son*
Don't look, honey.

[Skit 14]
Hello, Mine Turtle!
Hello!
SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES
*A pineapple lands on Mine Turtle's button and he explodes*
[Skit 15]
He's a magical pony flying through the sk-
*The magical pony gets hit with a rocket. It's head falls onto a man's head*
I love it!

[Skit 16]
Hey. You know who's gay?
*Cuts to Person A and B at their wedding*
Us.

[Outro]
Hey. You should buy some asdfmovie t-shits at SharkRobot.com
I wanna buy a boat.
OH YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH