[Verse 1]
Night has draped its cape of stars over our small town
From the campus to the tavern, to the chapel and infirmary
We've seen their dreams, we've found the guilt
The fables and folly of residents residing in

[Chorus]
Fourteen hymns for the heathen
First hymn, the son of God complex
Second hymn, the prodigal damsel
Third hymn, the tree stump of knowledge
Choking on Adam's apple

[Verse 2]
This odd lot under the cross, this broken promised land
Of dreamers and schemers and preachers and predators
They shall not want what they've got coming to them
Whether innocent or insolent

[Chorus]
Fourteen hymns for the heathen
Fourth hymn, the passion of the Chaplain
Fifth hymn, the brute kiss of Judas
Sixth hymn, Sodom falls to ashes
Seventh hymn, the church of doubting Thomas
Eighth hymn, the Horses of the Apocalypse
Ninth hymn, immaculate exception
Tenth hymn, the demons of Mary Magdalene
[Bridge]
I am a chapel, this the prayer book
These are the parables
God forgive us, this is our business
Absolving sins of all these heathens

[Chorus]
Eleventh hymn, the Bible Belt tightens
Twelfth hymn, a lecherous shepherd
Thirteenth hymn, hiding in confession
Fourteenth hymn, an afterword
Rocking chairs of disenchantment
Green grass of envy and malice
Our salad days, living in Happy Hollow