J Dilla
What If?
[Verse 1]
Let’s make it clear
I do have fears
I do have shit that makes me jittery
Shit that makes me regret all of these
Makes me want to become a better me
I wouldn’t be surprised if I died at 34
In my house, all alone, no whores
Drugs on my left, beers on my right
Fame got to my head it made me break
Trust me, man that’s my biggest fright
Coming home from shows every night
Just to feel that I’m worthless
Got no place
Nobody accepts mе, excepts my mistakes
Bеcause mistakes accepts mistakes, know what I mean
All the fakes in my life, them fiends
Comes in every different shape and color like jellybeans
It just seems though that nobody likes me
Nobody know who I really is
Nobody knows Brandon Chirip
Who am I?
What do I do?
Will I breakthrough?
Have a nice boo?
Just love me please

[Chorus]
What if I wasn’t a dick to my girl?
What if I didn’t lose my happiness?
Why does this world still twirl?
I barely feel like a champion
What if I gave up and stopped right now?
Got the gat and went pow pow pow
And be dead, god good riddance
Would anybody raise they eyebrows?

[Verse 2]
I know you’ve felt my feeling
It’s common
Among children, men and women
Grannies, grandpas, animals
Don’t it make you want to fall?
Don’t it make you want to stall
On life, get the knife
Stab out yo heart
Fuck you, fuck you I hated you from the start
I hated your hair, and your little stubby nose
Why couldn’t you be like those kids over there?
Life ain’t fair, fuck this shit, bitch I’m gone *gunshot*

[Chorus]
What if I wasn’t a dick to my girl?
What if I didn’t lose my happiness?
Why does this world still twirl?
I barely feel like a champion
What if I gave up and stopped right now?
Got the gat and went pow pow pow
And be dead, god good riddance
Would anybody raise they eyebrows?

[Verse 3]
Death, what comes after?
Where do we go?
Do I still have a soul or is that shit gone?
Do I feel the need to have to belong?
I didn’t even get to finish my beautiful song
Wow, my life just got thrown away
Imagine the things I could’ve accomplished
Imagine the hate I could’ve abolished
Squeaky clean like shoe polish
I broke my promise
To jazzman
I hope he ain’t mad, tell me scram
Damn
What if I got my house
What if I reached my dreams
What if I got that car
What if I made a team
What if I got married and had beautiful kids
What if I made love to the baddest bitch
What if I got my parents a better house
Live the rest of their days in a paradise
I’m so selfish
Shit

[Break]
Damn

[Outro]
Dying broke, and drunk and full of heroin at the age of 34 is not exactly my idea of success
I’d rather die drunk and broke at 34 and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remember who I was