[Intro]
"911, what's your emergency?"
"Hola. No puedo dejar de hablar Español."


[Verse 1]
Hey have you guys heard about Snail Man?
He was just right over there, man
I see him everywhere
And I'm not a schizophrenic

'Cause once you're fucking snail-pilled
It can never be cancelled
You’ll see him every where and
When you scream he will stand still

[Pre-Chorus]
Snail man just shot the Home Depot
Snail man just bombed a casino
Snail man doesn't have a big ego
Because there's not many people
Half man
Half snail
6 feet to scale
Snail man's not frail
He's been to jail
[Chorus]
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Is fucking real
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Made a law appeal

[Refrain]
Snail man doesn't listen to words
Lives off the grid
And eat shrubs and herbs
It's snail man call 911
There's a green guy with a gun

[Verse 2]
Snail man doesn't care about us
Snail man doesn't have a job
Snail man doesn't have a knife
Snail man doesn't have a life
[Refrain]
But they say I'm crazy, they don't believe me, I know I saw it
I know I called him
He spawned
He crawled
He's the so called
Mr. salt bald
Mr. slime fraud
He's loved and awed
He's been appalled
He's been abroad
And he’s been real all along

(Everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy! la, la, la, la, bark, bark, bark)

[Bridge]
Never touch him
Never speak foul
He'll say "gotcha, see you in hell."
Any offer
Anyone in sight
Once I caught him
It was late at night
So I called his name
And he went away
And since that day
I tried spread his ways!
[Chorus]
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Is fucking real
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Made a law appeal

[Refrain]
Snail man doesn't listen to words
Lives off the grid
And eat shrubs and herbs
It's snail man call 911
There's a green guy with a gun

[Chorus]
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Is fucking real
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Snail man!
Made a law appeal

[Refrain]
Snail man doesn't listen to words
Lives off the grid
And eat shrubs and herbs
It's snail man call 911
There's a green guy with a gun