[Verse]
For years I've been drinking only builder's tea
I feared imbibing that which is unmanly
While others happily sank into a dreamy, blissful repose
I was busy playing Darkness shows
(Just listen to the rhythm of my heart)

I sensed that it was time to try a herbal tincture
If only to relieve the pain in my sphincter
The stress of urban living had really gotten to me
'Twas time to try a chamomile tea

[Chorus]
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, on you I will depend
Oh, peppermint and chamomile

[Verse]
I tried two bags, not just the one
And fell into a snooze
I wakened then I found I'd wet myself
I put the box of chamomile back onto the shelf
I realised they weren't good for my health

[Chorus]
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, on you I will depend
Oh, peppermint and chamomile
[Verse]
One night I ate a curry
The flavours were too strong
I visited the toilet
Where I wrote this song
Thank goodness for the peppermint
It soothed me like a swan
And now I feel I truly belong

[Chorus]
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, my one true friend
Peppermint and chamomile, on you I will depend
Oh, peppermint and chamomile
Oh, peppermint and chamomile