It was a dusty old night
And I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure I upset someone
But my memory has chosen to omit it

A tiny voice telling me
I really should cool it
Chewing my face off
Talking absolute rubbish

The first line hit me like a kick in the face
I thought I better have another one just in case
Next thing I knew my heart was under attack
And bought a one way ticket to hell
And back

[Chorus]
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell

I'm always trying to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
If they seemed fit to join me for a couple of hits
But now my septum is in tatters and I've still got the runs

Burn for a moment then you kick like a mule
Strangers are agreeing that it was rocket fuel
Several lines are chocking like a glorious game
And bought a one way ticket to hell
And back

[Chorus]

Stick it up your nose
Holy coke, repeating myself, except I'm getting slightly louder
Pausing just long enough to snort that white powder
Wheels steering off but I'm still on track
And bought a one way ticket to hell
And back

[Chorus (x2)]