[Verse 1]
Every happy family is alike
We keep our demons in the basement
We smile nice
And always get the lock replaced
When things get a little bit out of hand
If you're overwhelmed, I would understand
I would understand

[Chorus]
I'm the goldbrick champion
Mid-Atlantic number one
I'm the goldbrick champion
Oh, I'm number one

[Verse 2]
Where is all of this therapy heading? (Hey)
Do we get to stop after the wedding?
What do you want me to say?
Can we afford this copay?
One thing at a time
I can only handle one thing at a time
One thing at a time

[Chorus]
I'm the goldbrick champion
Mid-Atlantic number one
I'm the goldbrick champion
Oh, I'm number one
I'm a second rate champion
Just a mid-Atlantic no one
[Refrain]
One thing at a time
I can only handle one thing at a time
So please be kind

[Bridge]
One hand up if you're overwhelmed
Two hands up if you're overwhelmed
(If you're overwhelmed)
One hand up if you're overwhelmed
Two hands up if you're overwhelmed
(Overwhelmed)

[Chorus]
I'm the goldbrick champion
Mid-Atlantic number one
(One thing at a time)
(I can only handle one thing at a time)
I'm the goldbrick champion
(One thing at a time)
(I can only handle one thing at a time)
Oh, I'm number one