[William Shatner]
Let's go, ready? From the top

My favorite shows on TV have 12 minutes of advertising
I can't get behind that kind of time

[Henry Rollins]
Eat quickly, drive faster, make more money now
I can't get behind that

[William Shatner]
My kids say, "He said to me, and I'm like and he's like and she's like"

[Henry Rollins]
It's all, he's all, she's all

[William Shatner]
I can't get behind that kind of, like, English
That'll be six to eight weeks before delivery

[Henry Rollins]
The rising oceans, the warming temperatures

[William Shatner]
The dying polar bears, no tigers in 50 years
[Henry Rollins]
Rising poison in the air and water

[William Shatner]
I can't understand why the price of gas suddenly rises
When oil goes up

[Henry Rollins]
But takes months to go down long after oil falls

[William Shatner]
I can't get behind any of that
I can't get behind the Gods, who are more vengeful, angry, and
Dangerous if you don't believe in them

[Henry Rollins]
Why can't all these Gods just get along?
I mean, they're omnipotent and omnipresent, what's the problem?

[William Shatner]
What's the problem? What about the men who say
"Do as I do, believe in what I say, for your own good
Or I'll kill you", I can't get behind that

[Henry Rollins]
I can't get behind that
Everybody knows everything about all of us
[William Shatner]
That's too much knowledge

[Shatner & Rollins]
I can't get behind that!

[William Shatner]
Yeah, and what about student drivers using my streets to learn?
If you learn to play the drums you got to go to a studio
Go to a parking lot, for God's sake, why are you jeopardizing my life?
I can't get behind a student driver

[Henry Rollins]
I can't behind a driver who drives like a student driver
If you're going to drive an urban assault vehicle then get off the phone
And keep your eyes on the road
Lifetime guarantee?

[William Shatner]
Who's lifetime? Not mine
I haven't that much time left, let's make it yours
Everybody's got a longer life than me
The leaf blowers, is there anything more futile?

[Henry Rollins]
Car alarms
[William Shatner]
Clap off

[Henry Rollins]
Clap on

[William Shatner]
Spam

[Henry Rollins]
Size matters

[William Shatner]
No, it doesn't

[Henry Rollins (William Shatner)]
Yes, it does (No, it doesn't)
Yes, it does (No, it doesn't)
Yes, it does (No, it doesn't)
Yes it does

[William Shatner]
My phone rings

[Henry Rollins]
Make millions in minutes

[William Shatner]
It's a computer

[Henry Rollins]
Lose inches in hours

[William Shatner]
Leave me the Hell alone

[Henry Rollins]
Eat more spend less

[William Shatner]
The Colonel is breakdancing, give me a break

[Henry Rollins]
Credit terms raised

[William Shatner]
I can't get behind any of that!
I can't get behind so-called singers that can't carry a tune
Get paid for talking, how easy is that?
Well, maybe I could get behind that

[Henry Rollins]
Well, I can't, if you have to fix it with a computer
Quantized, pitch corrected, and overly inspected
Then you can't do it, and I can't get behind that

[William Shatner]
I can't get behind a fat ass!

[Henry Rollins]
Yeah, Bill, can you turn around and do one more?

[William Shatner]
Always can do one more
Let's hit it!