Friday night hot spot, sign in the parking lot
Free beer, ribs, ham, all about big jam
Paid a double cover then we walked inside
Betty Lou started laughed said, "Look at them guys"
Violin, keys, drums, saxophone
Some long haired singer singin', lookin' half stoned
Sign outside said country band
But the fiddles outta tune
And they ain't gotta tele-man

Bartender said see the man poundin' on the keys
Rumor has it, I'm told that he taught Jerry Lee
Heard his sister was married to Ervin Berlin
He plays anything from chopstick to Chopin
Said I don't care if he wears cashmere
Got a wig on his head and hе's deaf in one ear
Or if hе goes by the name Ludwig Van
If the fiddles outta tune
And they ain't got a tele-man

Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie, and Waylon
Johnny Cash, Jerry Reed, Patsy and the Possum
Ain't none of them stars ever woulda got a hand
If it weren't for a finger lickin', chicken pickin', tele-man

Ah, play it tele-man
[Instrumental Break]

Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie, and Waylon
Johnny Cash, Jerry Reed, Patsy and the Possum
Ain't none of them stars ever woulda got a hand
If it weren't for a finger lickin', chicken pickin', tele-man

At 2 AM, they were breakin' it down
When I heard the singer say, "Hey, how did it sound?"
Don't ya come around pickin' these bars again
'Til ya tune that fiddle and ya get yourself a tele-man

Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie, and Waylon
Johnny Cash, Jerry Reed, Patsy and the Possum
Ain't none of them stars ever woulda got a hand
If it weren't for a finger lickin', chicken pickin', tele-man

Tick tock, clip clop, string pullin' tele-man
B bender, old Fender, kick it off tele-man

One, two, three, four