[Verse 1]
Sup up your beer and collect your fags
There's a row going on down near Slough
Get out your mat and pray to the West
I'll get out mine and pray for myself

[Verse 2]
Thought you were smart when you took them on
But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?

[Chorus]
Hello-hurray, what a nice day
For the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurray, I hope rain stops play
For the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

[Verse 3]
Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse
Tore down the House of Commons in your brand new shoes
Composed a revolutionary symphony
Then went to bed with a charming young thing

[Chorus]
Hello-hurray, cheers then, mate
It's the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurray, an extremist scrape
With the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
[Bridge]
What a catalyst you turned out to be
Loaded the guns, then you run off home for your tea
Left me standing like a guilty schoolboy

What a catalyst you turned out to be
Loaded the guns, then you run off home for your tea
Left me standing like a naughty schoolboy

[Verse 4]
We came out of it naturally the worst
Beaten and bloody, and I was sick down my shirt
We were no match for their untamed wit
Though some of the lads said they'd be back next week

[Chorus]
Hello-hurray, it's the price to pay
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurray, I'd prefer the plague
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello-hurray, it's the price to pay
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurray, I'd prefer the plague
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
[Outro]
Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles