[Intro]
(I can dig it)
(Dog catcher, dog catcher)
(I can dig it)
(Dog catcher, dog catcher)
(I can dig it)

[Verse 1]
Here's another topic I'm addressin'
So learn a quick lesson, about your Smith and Wesson
Sit your ass back and comprehend
As I let you know about man's best friend
Now remember, it used to be a dog like Lassie
But now in '91, it's a gun if you asked me
Just like a jimmy hat's used for protection
I use my nine when suckers start to flexin'
'Cause if you run up and try to play mine
I'd rather have a AK than a fucking canine
'Cause if you shot your gun, and my dog tried to fetcha
Me and the dog's goin' out on a stretcher
And I ain't with that, so I gotta get that
Big black gat, aim and I hit that
Forget about a dog, fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays, a gat is man's best friend

[Chorus]
(Dog catcher, dog catcher)
(I can dig it) Man's best friend
(Dog catcher, dog catcher)
(I can dig it)
[Verse 2]
Here is the reason why Ice Cube pack
Just in case the little punks try to jack
I can't put a motherfucking pitbull
Under a coat in the small of my back
So I gotta take my Beretta, and I betcha
It'll probably work a hundred percent better
'Cause it'll keep me out of danger
With sixteen in the clip and one in the chamber
So this goes to all y'all intruders
Beware of the owner 'cause the owner is a shooter
I don't just wanna give your ass rabies
I'd rather have your ass pushing up daisies
And I can't do that with Benji
Rin Tin Tin, or Spuds McKenzie
Forget about a dog, fool, he'll shit in the den
Nowadays, a gat is man's best friend

[Outro]
("Just don't let me see you shoot no dogs")
("Hey, I got shots fired here, send me another unit")
("The profile of a typical American gun owner is this:
Over thirty, white, male, middle class")

"Take that, motherfuckers"