[Verse 1]
I swear these stupid goons play ball like fifth graders
Backed Freddy down, then I turned and hit a mean fader
Freddy, don't you know you're supposed to dribble with one hand?
He kept dribbling with two, I don't think he understands
Michael Myers, get that robot arm under control
If you keep dribbling like that, then the ball is gonna 'splode
Also, when we're finished, can you change my tires, bro?
"I'm not a dang mechanic, I just wear mechanic clothes!"
Jason, put away your hockey stick, this isn't hockey
And you should never dribble bro, your handle's looking sloppy
Your defense is non-existent, you ain't gonna stop me
I play this game like pianos get played by Liberace
I crossed him and I crippled him, both his knees were blown
Tore his ACL, his MCL, and even broke his toes
Broke his tibia, his fibula, and both his femur bones
Mike said "Dang, bro, you got them legs like Derrick Rose"

[Chorus]
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
[Verse 2]
Dang, Jason, guess your jump shot is on vacation
You got the worst jumper in the nation
I heard Freddy laugh, I said "Is something funny man?
Jason's jumper's wack, but your jumper's twice as bad
Here, maybe you can make it in this"
I held up a hula hoop, and then I blew him a kiss
He was ticked, he stepped to me and he put up his fist
That's when I cracked that jab out and busted him in the lips
Grabbed his nips real hard, then I started to twist
Then he tried to step away, but then I stepped on his kicks
I had such a good grip that his nips wouldn't slip
He was falling backwards, thought his nipples would rip
Then I let him go and he fell on the ground
He was screaming real loud, he was rolling around
I said "Freddy, did you like that titty twister, mayne?"
"That ain't no titty twister, that's a titty hurricane"

[Chorus]
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
[Verse 3]
We had fifty on the board, the bad guys hadn't scored
Freddy said it's only 'cause his nips were super sore
Michael Myers agreed, I said "Guys, please"
Then Michael Myers said that me and Mike were too mean
So I started calling Michael Myers "Michael Cryers"
"Come and cry on me because my jumper is on fire!"
Freddy said "C'mon guys, we gotta make a comeback!"
Then Mike said "The game is over, (Censored)!"
Jason called Mike "McLovin", then he got hit with a pumpkin
Then Mike walked over and poked him and told that goon to do somethin'
But Jason wouldn't do nothin', because he's soft as a muffin
Then Freddy went in to dunk it, but Mike jumped up and he stuffed him
Them bad guys think they're so tough, but we beat 'em fifty-to-nothin'
Then Michael Myers got rough, and then me and him started tusslin', scufflin'
Then I punched him in the stomach, he's stumblin'
(Then what?) Then I Superman kicked him and crumpled him

[Chorus]
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
These bad guys want to play me in some hoop
But everybody know you guys are poop
'Cause you can't dribble and you can't shoot
Me and my homeboy Mike about to wreck your whole crew
[Outro]
What, what? Froggy Fresh
And Money Maker Mike
On Halloween night
You bring that weak stuff up in my house?
Then we gon' throw your crew out!