Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly focused brightly colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
Of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands
Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sent a letter to five
Military wives whose tears drip down from ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Living their fifteen sordid wretched checkered lives
Will they find the solution in time
Using their fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds?

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out a garland to five
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise
Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served on a leafy bed of sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da