I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Nicholas Foster
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Camel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret

So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend

Hey, Foster!

Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find

What's been up, mother fucker
I haven't seen you in ages!

I knew I shouldn't, but temptation got the best of me

Why do I do...all these things to hurt you?

Foster! Hear that asshole?
His name is Ray
Says he's been seeing your lady...In an intimate way!
Says he beats her up, he says he treats her like a whore
He says he spits in her face, yet she comes back for more

It's a lie, nonesense, he's full of shit
Mother fucker would be lucky if he could find his dick

I was gonna let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the bastard as he started to speak

Got a new bitch, been a slut for a time
She was Foster's once, but now she's mine
And that poor old fuck
Heh, he doesn't even have a clue

I'm going to kill him

Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh

Followed the fuck, as he went to take a piss
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists

Stayed silent, put my hands around his neck
I looked into his face and sunk the glass into his breast
A surge of blood, a moment passed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move
With every second waiting
There was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life

No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no

Oh, fuck
What have I done
There's blood everywhere, look at all this blood
Oh, God
I wonder how much money's in his wallet
I wonder if he has any family...
How am I going to get away with this
Well he's dead anyway
No luck sticking around here
I better find a way to get away now...

So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
Had me a cup of black coffee, read the paper, and had one of my favorite fags
Felt right as rain until the phone rang

*phone ringing 2x*

Hello

Hello, Nicholas Foster?

Who's this?

This is Officer Sloan from the police department

Oh, Officer Sloan-

Where were you on the night of the 31st?

I was... I happened to be-

Happened to be at a pub at Broadway and Hurst?

No, I wasn't there, actually-

Do you know Ray Wells?

Um, Ray Wells, Ray Wells
Doesn't ring any bells
The 31st I was out of town
Yeah, th-that's right, on business in fact
You see, I was with my bird, we're in love

Well, thank you for your time
I'd hate to bother you

And they bought it

*knocking on the door*

Who is it?

Freeze, mother fucker!

I didn't do anything

Face on the floor

I'm innocent
I'm not getting on the floor

You shit murderer
You murdered someone and you know it

I didn't do anything
I'm innocent

We know it, and you know it
I bet they'll love you in the shower, heheh!

I didn't do anything

And you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison paying for it