It's hard to see the light
When the 'fridge door is closed
Tiptoe down the hall, open the door
And find out that God is a small sausage roll

I fall and I crawl and I break
And I'ma dreaming of Avril Lavigne
Oh, Devil eyes, short skirt, thighs
And I'm on my knees again

Santa Claus is green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
And adverts don't tell me what I need

He's green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
Yeah

Don't read directly into the sun
And the Skybox is rotting your brain
They maintain your integrity for you, oh
Nothing more that you can do
Sometimes I find I don't mind though my mind is naturally mananah
Turn off the TV so I read a book about television
I butter my shoes, my comb, my hat and try to leave the house
But it's all too much 'cause the grass is too green
So I run back inside and I turn on the screen

He's green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
And adverts don't tell me what I need

He's green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
Yeah

Santa Claus is green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
And adverts don't tell me what I need
He's green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
And adverts don't tell me what I need

He's green
He's not caffeine-free
You want full-fat
Fill that limousine
I got no cash card, no car, no money
Yeah