George Plant
The Shaggy Dog Stories - Chap. 6
Chapter 6
Who is Jonathan Simkins?


Jonathan Simkins, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make was taking a stroll down Main Street in Clearwater, Florida one day. As he passed a book and music shop, a sign caught his eye: "Just Released on LP - Wasps of the World and the sounds they make - Available Now!"

Unable to resist the temptation, Jonathan stepped into the shop.

"I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make. I'd very much like to listen to that new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, sir," said the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into listening booth number one there and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Jonathan stepped into the booth and put on the headphones. Three minutes later, he came out and announced, "I am an expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, yet I recognize none of those sounds."

"I'm very sorry sir", said the young clerk. "If you'll step into the booth again, I'll play you another track."

Jonathan stepped back into the booth and put the headphones back on.

Three minutes later, Jonathan came out, shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he said, "I'm sure I'm the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, but I just don't recognize any of the sounds on that record!"

"I'm terribly sorry, sir" said the young man, "if you'll step into the booth again, I'll give it another try."

Sighing, Jonathan stepped back into the booth and put the headphones back on. He waited ... silence. A few seconds later, the young clerk came over and opened the door to the booth.

"I really am terribly sorry", the young man said. "It was all my mistake. I was playing the bee side."