Her lips are red as roses
Her skin as smooth as butter
When she smiles in your direction
Your heart is all aflutter
She seems like an angel sent down from above
When you're falling in love

Your friends are disgusted when they see you acting mushy
When you talk to her on the phone you sound like a humongous pussy
The second you leave everybody makes fun of you
When you're falling in love with someone new

You blow off your uncle's funeral when she gets cramps at the very last minute
You throw out a picture of your whole family because your ex-girlfriend was in it
You bail on a UFC fight because she got tickets to a cornfield maze
You ignore your friends you've known your entire life for someone you've known for six days

If you accidentally make a farty
You quickly fire up incense wood
You go with her to see her brother's Maroon 5 cover band
And you say, "you know they were actually pretty good"
You throw away your Black Sabbath T-shirt and start shopping at J. Crew
When you're falling in love with someone new

You deliberate over every word before you send her a midnight text
You carefully wash your balls if there's a 5% chance you'll have chance
She says you're so much happier since you threw your bong away and you sheepishly pretend that's true
When you're in love with someone new
When her birthday's coming up you shop on Etsy til you're broke
When you find out how many guys she's slept with you nod sweetly and then you practically fucking choke
She asks you if you love her any less for that you say 'don't even suggest it'
And then the very next day you secretly sneak off to the clinic to get tested

A few months later things get shitty, she ends things with a break-up kiss
You call your friends bawling and crying, and they all say who the fuck is this?
Then you go out and get hammered and some waitress smiles at you
And then once again you're falling in love with someone new
This is an endless cycle of broken relationships, until you finally meet your soulmate on FarmersOnly.com