Adam Sandler
Daddy’s Beard
[Verse]
Daddy shaved his beard today
Mustache and sideburns went away
Daddy's lips are really small
Doesn't have a chin at all
Daddy made a big mistake

[Monologue]
My father used to shave, my dad had a beard, and then, literally, every ten years would shave his beard. Like, didn't ask us, just fucking came out of nowhere, shaved. It was, any time my father shaved his beard, it was the only time you saw him look vulnerable. When he first came out of the bathroom, he was like... I was like, "Dad has dimples?" I didn't know Dad had dimples." "It'll grow back." Why'd you do it? "I don't know. It was... It was itchy." "It's been itchy for ten fucking years? "