Crazy Chinese Resturant Guy:
He dine and dash me! He chew and screw me! He sip and skip me!

Police:
What?

Crazy Chinese Resturant Guy:
He no pay for his four Scorpion Bowl

Davey:
Oh, boy

I'm the kinda guy that can't stand the holiday
So I drink them all away
That's me

I don't decorate no trees
And I won't eat no potato lakees
But I'll give this old ladies melons a squeeze
That's just who I am

Well I'll never spin a dreidel
But I'll always throw an egg
And I'll charliehorse your leg- for laughs
While you're singing your holiday tune
I'm acting like the town Bafoon
Whipping out my big white scary moon
And blowing a beef your way
I hate folks who think reindeer are cute
To me they're just something to shoot
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me

Well I'm a snowmobile stealing
No 'tis the season' feeling
Kind of guy (kind of guy)

This time of year sucks
So I take my numchucks
And make sure every snowman dies

Believeing in Santa's all wrong
And Chaunaka's eight days too long
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me