I'm the seven foot man, I've commited no crime
Bumping my head into doorways, it happens all the time
I'm seven feet tall and I repeat
They don't make a ski boot that can fit my feet
I'm seven feet tall and I don't play basketball

I'm seven feet tall, but I'm still just a man
So of course it hurts me a lot when I walk into the ceiling fan
Small people say, "I wish I was him"
But it's been nine years since I've had a trim
The barber said, "I can't reach the top of his head"

Seven foot man
I cannot hide
Seven foot man
I know 'cause I've tried
Seven foot man
My last girlfriend died
Because my penis is seven foot wide

So the next time you see me walking around
And my head's right about to hit a tree branch tell me to duck down
And I'll pay you back soon you will see
By getting your frisbee down from that tree
I do what I can, I'm the seven foot man
Seven foot man
Seven foot man