Daniel Thrasher
When your cat writes a song
[Spoken Intro]
My cat wrote a song!
No, it didn't
Yes, he did!
You know what? I'm not gonna argue with you! Because it's the end of 2020, and I am very tired and... I'm pretty sure you're going to show me anyway
[Song Starts]
And there it is... Well, it sounds nice!

[Verse 1]
I'm a cat
And I don't give a fudge
What kinda year that you had
Or whether or not your happiness took a plunge

I don't give a meow about you
I don't give a meow at all
I'm so happy that I found you
So I can punch you in the face with my paw

[Pre-Chorus]
And then I'll claw you
Drink all your blood, too
And then I'll scratch everything that you've ever loved
I'll pee on your head
And then when you'rе dead
I'll be meowing at you from Hеaven above
[Chorus]
'Cause you'll be in Hell
(not me, I'm a cat)
You humans all smell
What's the deal with that?

[Spoken Interlude]
Uh, your cat doesn't seem very friendly
What are you talking about?
Do you hear what he's saying?
Yes, he's saying he loves you!
No, I don't think that is correct. I don't- I don't think that's what he's saying-
What's that? Oh, he says another verse is coming up!
Okay, this should be...

[Verse 2]
Fire, blood, and brimstone
I'll tear your flesh off to the bone
I'll wear your skin like it's a suit
I'll make that shit look super cute

I'm singing about you, Daniel
But he just hears "meows"
I'm looking right at you, Daniel
I'm king of this house
[Outro]
And if you say anything to my dad
I'll slit your throat in your sleep
That's a promise, not a threat
That's a promise, meow meow meow

[Spoken Coda]
So, what'd you think?
...Very cute
Squaa!