[Poem 1: "beef"]
"What's the beef, man?", I say to this guy
Who cut me off in traffic
Looking like he's drinking and driving me crazy

Ah yeah, I'm insane!
I got a twinkle in my eye while I'm driving this train
Oh snap, I hit a baby in my four-by-four truck
I have no regrets
You're all outta luck, mister

Blisters on my feet as I run from the cops
Police say "freeze!", but I ain't gonna stop
'Cause I killed a child

[Poem 2: "hammer"]
Hammer time
What time is it?
Hammer time
Mr. Mime from Pokémon is sublime during hammer time
MC Hammer pants
Gets a chance to dance with plan-ance in outer spance

What's that sound?
I pooped my pants
[Poem 3: "empathy"]
Empathy
Empathy, NPC
Video game, sell me things
Are you a vendor to my main character?

Do you see who I am?
'Cause on the inside, I'm a scattin' man
Bwee-ba-bap ba-da-bop!
Ba-bap ba-da-bop!

[Poem 4: "petting zoo"]
Petting zoo
Here I am at the birthday party
Seeing an alpaca
A beautiful creature
Walking around on two hands
If you can imagine

I am king of the food chain
Look at me eat
I'm eating a chicken wing
Alpaca in defeat

I'll pack-a you a bag, get you outta my house
You're not my friend, Mickey
You ain't no mouse
Get your goofy ass outta here
I banish you from town
Thinking I'm your Donald...
*Donald Duck sounds*
[Poem 5: "campfire"]
Scary stories by the campfire
Picking up firewood
Would you wanna go to prom with me?
Yes, Mary-Kate?
Yes, Ashley?

Two-for-one special
This couple's on sale
A whale, whale in the ocean
"Sure," they say
Got me two dates on my arm today
Eatin' bag of chips, call it Frito-Lay

[Poem 6: "barn"]
"Yee-hee-hee-hee-hee!" goes the horse in the barn
"Wee-hee-hee-hee-hee!" goes grandma on the farm
She's plucking strawberries
It's her favorite fruit

[Poem 7: "caterpillar"]
Caterpillar
Caterpillar
I'm trapped in a cocoon

Ooh, a monsoon blows me away
Looks like I'm not butter-flying today
Up in the sky, made of silk
Mmm, that's caterpillar milk!
[Poem 8: "glue"]
Glue, stuck
Tense, f**k
I'm stuck on you
Like two gobstoppers melted into one

[Poem 9: "villa"]
Villa, villa, villa
I know what that means

[Poem 10: "endless breadsticks"]
"Another breadstick, please," I ask my waiter
He winks and smiles, says "see you later"
Later in time, divine
Like a alligator spine
Settling, nestled in the everglades

Floridian man wears a toupee
G-string in the hot tub
I sing to the God above
"Save me from myself!"
And God replies, "you're a Keebler elf"

[Poem 11: "Greek God"]
Greek God
Zeus, Thor
Need I say more?
Drop to the floor, that's an even score
Throwing darts at the dart board
Four score and seven years ago, bro
Abraham Lincoln said "say no to dope"

[Poem 12: "locksmith"]
Lock, smith
Two words both alike in dignity
In fair keys they go
Oops, I locked myself out of your heart
And I need help from a locksmith

[Poem 13: "bunion"]
Ouch, my feet hurt
That's a bunion
Crunch, my tongue hurts
That's a Funyun

I'm eating fast food on the couch by myself
Nobody's home but me
I did an ancestry test last night
Now I know family

[Poem 14: "movie"]
Yeah, I'm watching a movie
And it's rated "arr"
'Cause it's Pirates of the Carribean, ya-harr?

[Poem 15: "revenge"]
Revenge
Revenge!
Avengers, movie franchise
MCU - my cult underlines - everything I do
Scooby dooby doo
Where are you, dad?

[Poem 16: "thanksgiving", featuring ChanceIsLoud]
Thanksgiving
Giving thanks
What did my dad give?
He gave me spanks
Thanksgiving is a beautiful place

See that little turkey trotting around the yard
It's a place of-
What do you think you're doing out there, buddy?
It's a place-
Get in my belly, and my wife's good belly too
I got three strong sons that wanna do things to you

I run around town looking for stuffing (Mmm)
The stuffing turned out to be in the cupboard
My heart is the cupboard
My wife hates my guts