[Verse 1, Torquil]
Wanted single F, under 33
Must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
Sought by single M, Mrs. Destiny
Send photo to address, is it you and me?

[Verse 2, Amy]
Reply to single M, my name is Caroline
Cellphone number here, call if you have the time
28 and bored, grieving over loss, sorry to be heavy
But heavy is the cost, heavy is the cost

[Verse 3, Torquil]
Reply to Caroline, thanks so much for response
These things can be scary, not always what you want
How about a drink? The St. Jude Club at noon
I'll phone you first, I guess, I hope I see you soon

[Verse 4, Amy]
I never got your name, I assume you're 33
Your voice it sounded kind, I hope that you like me
When you see my face, I hope that you don't laugh
I'm not a film-star beauty, I sent a photograph
I hope that you don't laugh

[Verse 5, Amy]
Note to single M, why did you not show up?
I waited for an hour, I finally gave up
I thought once that I saw you
I thought that you saw me
I guess we'll never meet now
It wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be
I was sure you saw me, but it wasn't meant to be
[Verse 6, Torquil]
Wanted single F, under 33
Must enjoy the sun, must enjoy the sea
Sought by single M, nothing too heavy
Send photo to address, is it you or me? Is it you or me?

[Outro]
Is it you or me?
Is it you or me?
Is it you or me?
Is it you or me?