I wrote the songs that nearly made
The bottom line of the hit parade
Almost anthems, shoulda been hits
Songs like… Puttin’ off the Ritz
Some enchanted afternoon
Twenty-four hours to Levenshulme
Dancin’ in the daylight, singin’ in the smog
You ain’t nothin’ but a hedgehog
So close and yet so far
Do you remember they way we are
I’d like to get you on a speedboat to china
From an idea by George Steiner
Ain’t no blag – mama’s got a brand new jag
She ain’t heavy, she’s my sister
Not to leave out twist and whisper
Brand new leapordskin pillbox glove
Baby you and me we got a greasy kind of love

"To prove there are tunes to go with these titles, here's a little clip from You ain’t nothin’ but a hedgehog."

You ain’t nothin' but a hedgehog
Foragin’ all the time
You ain’t nothing but a hedgehog
Foragin’ all the time
You ain’t never pricked a predator
You ain’t no Porcupine