somebody came this way and fled
from the heavy wretched scene
all the rooms were grey and red
with an epileptic gleam
i don't know where i'm going
but when i get there i'll be glad
i'm gonna sit right down and write this poem
called the day my pad went MAD

i was ankle deep in human waste
the toilet had been clogged
marrowbone jelly all over the place
i don’t even have a dog
thе man upstairs he grips my arm
saying don’t i know your dad
all i could hear was the firе alarm
the day my pad went MAD

the kitchen had been ransacked
ski trails in the hall
a chicken had been dansacked
and thrown against the wall
in walks this dumb waiter
with a fountain pen and pad
saying how do you want this alligator
the day my pad went MAD
the hamster had been slaughtered
the parrot bound and gagged
the guard dog had been sorted out
and absolutely shagged
the goldfish drowned the cat was found
kicked around and stabbed
the radio did not make a sound
the day my pad went MAD

the pop-up toaster refused to pop
the chandelier was smashed
the starter motor would not stop
the tyres had been slashed
there was no way out of there
i was stuck with what i had
out of order beyond repair
the day my pad went MAD

yesterday i had the place rewired
and i slung out all of my junk
a tumble dryer and a two-bar fire
and a telephone now defunct
i peep through the venetian blinds
and the rain fell down so sad
on the broken home i left behind
the day my pad went MAD