COMIC: I don't wanna say that the new Elvis Costello album is long, so I won't

[Rimshot]

COMIC: But seriously, folks, the only album bigger than the new Elvis Costello album has photos of the King family in it!

[Rimshot]

COMIC:  The new Elvis Costello album on Columbia Records and Tapes has more bands than a redwood. I don't wanna say it's a big album, but instead of a record number, it's got a zip code!

[Rimshot]

[Clip of "I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down"]

COMIC: I wanna tell you, the new Elvis Costello album has more tracks than the Tokyo subway system!

[Rimshot]

COMIC: More cuts than Midnight Cowboy on TV!

[Rimshot]

COMIC: There are three kinds of people who like the album: people under twenty-one, peoplе over twenty-one, and pеople who turned twenty-one during the record!

[Rimshot]
[Clip of "King Horse"]

COMIC: Any more songs on the album, and it would need an index!

[Rimshot]

COMIC: Everybody in the world has a favorite song on the album, all different!

[Rimshot]

[Clip of "Possession"]

[Clip of "High Fidelity"]

COMIC: But seriously, friends...

ANNOUNCER: Elvis Costello fights inflation on his new album, Get Happy!! Get Get Happy!! Twenty new hits by the original artist on Columbia Records and Tapes!

[Clip of "Love For Tender"]