Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim
Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols or follow Lostprophets
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile. Some people are just nice
Thou shalt not read NME
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover
Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products
Thou shalt not buy Nestlé products
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat/shit on him
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you're never gonna fucking talk to

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were
The Beatles: Were just a band
Led Zeppelin: Just a band
The Beach Boys: Just a band
The Sex Pistols: Just a band
The Clash: Just a band
Crass: Just a band
Minor Threat: Just a band
The Cure: Were just a band
The Smiths: Just a band
Nirvana: Just a band
The Pixies: Just a band
Oasis: Just a band
Radiohead: Just a band
Bloc Party: Just a band
The Arctic Monkeys: Just a band
The next big thing... Just a band

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music
Thou shalt not pimp my ride
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit
When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho"
When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop"
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise - kill me

Ah, I forgot where I was, hang on

Thou shalt not quote me happy
Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X, not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying "Izzit"

Thou shalt think for yourselves
And thou shalt always...
Thou shalt always kill!