[Verse 1]
Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation Mary Anne went out
Lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

[Verse 2]
Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And makeup to cover a bruise
Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

[Pre-Chorus]
Right away, Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red-eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn't take 'em long to decide
[Chorus]
That Earl had to die
Goodbye, Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted alright to me, Earl
You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl?
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

[Verse 3]
The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats
And said "Thank you ladies, if you hear from him let us know,"

[Verse 4]
Well, the weeks went by and
Spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all

[Pre-Chorus]
So the girls bought some land at a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
And strawberry jam
And they don't lose any sleep at night, 'cause
[Chorus]
Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Well, is that all right?
Good, let's go for a ride Earl
Hey

[Outro]
Well hey, hey, hey
Aw, hey, hey, hey
Well hey, hey, hey