Gerard Way
Cruisin’ For Crazy
The Breakfast Monkey is shown against a yellow and red background next to the episode's title.

VOICEOVER: The Breakfast Monkey in... "Cruisin' For Crazy!"

INT: DINER

Luncha Lunche is standing in a diner with blue and pink decor. The Breakfast Monkey flies into the room, seeing Luncha Lunche.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Did I hear breakfast? Oh, it's you! Luncha Lunche, world-famous Spanish wrestling man!

LUNCHA LUNCHE: Sì, como esta ustede?

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Oh, silly man! Your language makes no sense to me! Would you like some eggs?

LUNCHA LUNCHE: No, un tostados con queso, por favor.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: French toast and powdered sugar? An excellent way to start off your day!

LUNCHA LUNCHE: No, un tostados con queso, por favor.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Pancakes and cream!

The Breakfast Monkey's apron morphs into a flannel shirt and a beanie appears on his head.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: It will make you big and strong, like the lumberjacks!
LUNCHA LUNCHE (SLOWLY): I would like one grilled cheese.

The Breakfast Monkey's attire reverts to an apron and a beret.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Sausage and eggs!

At this point, Luncha Lunche cannot hold back his frustration.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: Give me the grilled cheese!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: No!

A man appears next to Luncha Lunche, holding a fork with a pancake.

MAN: Psst, do what the monkey says.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: No! I will not eat the breakfast foods! I will only eat the grilled cheese!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Settle down!

LUNCHA LUNCHE: No, I will not settle down! You have the bread to make the toast, you have the cheese! Make me the grilled cheese!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: An omelette with toast! I can make it with cheese!

Angrily, Luncha Lunche grabs The Breakfast Monkey.
LUNCHA LUNCHE: Listen to me, Monkey!

A magical twirling sound is heard as Luncha Lunche's head turns into a stack of pancakes.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: Aaahh! You turned my head into a stack of pancakes! 

Luncha Lunche storms out of the diner.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: For this I will destroy your city!

EXT: STREETS

Luncha Lunche starts wreaking havoc on the town, while The Breakfast Monkey observes and gasps.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: I will kick the fire hydrants! I will pick up the cars!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Oh no! Luncha Lunche is destroying the city! What will I do?

Luncha Lunche begins jumping on cars.

LUNCHA LUNCHE: And I will smash them! Aaahh!

Crazy Boy falls from the sky onto a car, riding Tinkle Fish.

CRAZY BOY: Ahoy there, dirty scoundrel! Someone sure is making a racket! And who might you be, little magic flying goblin?
THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: I am The Breakfast Monkey! And who might you be?

CRAZY BOY: Well, my name's Crazy Boy, and this here's Tinkle Fish!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: And why is he called Tinkle Fish?

CRAZY BOY: Well, he's got a problem with his bladder! 

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: And why are you called Crazy Boy?

CRAZY BOY: Well, I'm sure glad you asked that, little egg monkey!

Crazy Boy starts strumming his guitar.

CRAZY BOY (SINGING): Well, when I was a young boy, I put smart plugs in my mouth! I would do kinda funny things, smelling feet and passing out! Well, here's a little diddy that I'm sure you're gonna like! 'Cause I ain't got no underpants and I'm headed down to [?]! 

A chorus of random objects, including corn and an apple, sings along when Crazy Boy sings the word "cruisin'."

CRAZY BOY (SINGING): Cruisin'! Cruisin' nine to five! Cruisin'! It goes on and on and on! Cruisin'! Cruisin' for crazy! My head's [?] gone and lost the world! Yee-haw!

The Breakfast Monkey excitedly claps, and is unaware that Luncha Lunche has appeared behind him.

CRAZY BOY: Woah! Who's that?

LUNCHA LUNCHE: Do not be alarmed, little monkey. Everything makes perfect sense to me now. Let's go and spread breakfast to the world, together!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Yay!

Luncha Lunche and Crazy Boy get on Tinkle Fish, ready to fly away.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Everyone ready? Up, up, and away!

The Breakfast Monkey leads the way for Tinkle Fish, who begins flying behind him, carrying Crazy Boy and Luncha Lunche.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: Dear city, I give to you... the wholesome cereal!

Cereal begins raining down over a crowd of citizens.

CROWD: Yay!

The gang flies over a man eating a sandwich.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: This isn't lunch time - it is breakfast time!

The Breakfast Monkey turns the man's sandwich into a cinnamon roll.

RANDOM PERSON (OFF-SCREEN): He's Danish!

The group flies over a field of pigs.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: It's magic! It's bacon!

The Breakfast Monkey turns the pigs into plates of bacon. He and his friends then hover over a car, which The Breakfast Monkey places giant waffles on top of.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: It's waffles!

CAR OWNER: Yay!

The Breakfast Monkey makes syrup fall from the sky.

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: It's syrup!

MAN: Aw, that's sticky!

THE BREAKFAST MONKEY: I love the smell of maple syrup in the morning!

CRAZY BOY: Fly, you rascal! Fly!

The screen turns black, with "fin" written in white.