Hi, I'm Johnny Stash
And I'm here to sing about
A great American dog
Black Lassie

Hit it, Carl

She was born in the Detroit ghetto
During the riots of '65
Her daddy was a big fat alley rat
But he could lick a dog twice his size

Her mama was
A long legged Afghan
And she came from the
High class part of town

But late at night
When the moon got bright
Her and the rat
Really went to town

Black Lassie, fat and sassy
She started poor, aw
But now she's rich
She's the queen
Of the doggy world
Black Lassie is a ghetto
(Sssh, don't you say it)
But I'm talking about Black Lassie

Now I want everybody to listen
While Carl plays with his wa-wa

That was Carl and his wa-wa
Thank you very much, Carl
That's just fine

You can stop now, Carl
Carl, you can stop now
Gimme that wa-wa, Carl

Don't you ever try to play when I'm
Singing about a great American dog

Black Lassie, fat and sassy
She started poor, aw
But now she's rich

She's the queen of
All the doggys in the world
Because Black Lassie
She's a ghetto
(Sssh, don't you say it)
But I'm talking about Black Lassie
A great American
Half dog, half rat
Don't mess with her
Because she'a a real (shut up)

Aw, shut up, yourself
I wasn't gonna say bitch
I'm talking about Black Lassie

I can just see little Timmy now
Standing in front of that liquor store
Calling his dog

Here, Black Lassie
Here, Black Lassie
Come over here, girl
Get out that trashcan
And come over here

Woo, you stink, where you been
In that store, playing with men again
Come over here, girl
I got a cheeseburger for you

That's right, sit up
Aw, that's a good girl
Aw, God, you're ugly
Those beady eyes
But I love you, girl
Speak for me, girl
Speak for me
I love you