Dizaster
Ketchup vs. Mustard
[Intro: Baking Soda (Lush One)]
Welcome to the RapOff battle league
And I’m your host, the kid who always gets it crackin’
Whether cooling in the fridge, or up in the mix in your kitchen cabinet
Your playa partna, Baking SO-da!
We got a crazy flavor clash today between two of the sauciest condiments in history
On my left-hand side…

[Ketchup (Dizaster)]
I’M IN THE REFRIGERATOOORRRRRRR!

[Baking Soda (Lush One)]
Ooh!
And on my right-hand side
Playa partna, who is you?

[Mustard (Illmac)]
It’s ya boy Mustard
You must heard what it is
French’s Gang
Free my man Butter doing life in the box
Let’s go!

[Round 1: Ketchup (Dizaster)]
Yo, in Heinz sight, Mustard has an ugly color
I’ll take Mustard’s musty mother and uppercut her through the upper cupboard
I’ll run your cousin and your brother through the onion cutter
You belong in the dessert section next to the fluffy custard
‘Cause you’re sweet as honey, Mustard! (Damn!)
Look at Dijon and Horseradish lookin’ like Dumb & Dumber! (Damn!)
You guys probably fuck each other!
And since you run with Butter, my toast will never jam like your buddy Smuckers!
[Round 1: Mustard (Illmac)]
Ayo!
Get holes in your leather jacket
Get the ratchet
Something squirtin’ if I see Ketchup pack it
And rip his top open like a ketchup packet
You be with the French fries, tater tots
I be on sandwiches in the spread
Translation: you small potatoes, and I’m out here gettin’ to the bread!

[Round 2: Ketchup (Dizaster)]
Yo, that shit was fuckin’ ass!
Straight up...Mustard gassed!
Yo, I’m seein’ tons of cash
Ask Lettuce, I’m gettin’ green like the Hulk
See, I’m a seasoned veteran in here
You seasoned with salt
Don’t think that I won’t swing
Even the eggs in here came to see you get yoked! (Damn!)
So you better try to concentrate like Orange Juice…

[Orange Juice]
Why’s that?

[Ketchup (Dizaster)]
‘Cause you ‘bout to get BEAT to a PULP!
[Round 2: Mustard (Illmac)]
You used to be that guy, now Sriracha the one
I tried to coach Ketchup, ‘cause I got the sauce, and he buns (Damn!)
Quit bangin’ with Prego, reppin’ Pasta
That’ll get you shot in the slums
Ayo, Tomato!

[Tomato]
Yessir!

[Mustard (Illmac)]
That’s how you talk to yo’ son!

[Outro: Baking Soda (Lush One)]
And there it is!

[Suddenly, a hand reaches in and grabs Ketchup and Mustard. Pandemonium and confusion ensue as Baking Soda looks on in disbelief.]