I pull the blinds
Then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles aren't quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me

I pull the blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand, I write so legibly
I have my kitty. His name is Aloysius. I stroke him
Stroke, stroke him, stroke him, stroke him
Stroke him, stroke him, stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele, I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos - loads of Ren & Stimpy
Bottom, a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me

Ooooooo, ooooooo
Well, I've been known to tell a tale in two, and three, and four
And I've been persecuted since I sailed in through the door
And I've been known to sing a song in three, and four, and five
And I've been getting my ass chewed since the day I arrived here
Ooooooo, ooooooo, oooooooo
But you can't see
No one can see me
I pull the blinds